Nigerian weddings, just like most African marriage rites, are bonded with customs and practices that make the events successful. A list of some traditions explored.
Nigeria is often called the “Giant of Africa.” This name comes from the vastness of its land, the diversity of its peoples and languages, its oil, and other natural resources.
Nigeria is also the most populated African country, with over 220 million people, per Worldometer. The country has over 500 indigenous languages, more than 250 ethnic groups, and 36 states.
Nigeria is famous for its beautiful landmarks, delicious cuisine, and rich culture and traditions. Nigeria is known worldwide for being home to some iconic landmarks. These include the stunning Tarkwa Bay, the prominent Aso Rock, and the Third Mainland Bridge, which is the longest bridge in West Africa.
These and more are the reasons why Nigeria has stood out as one of the best destinations for wedding ceremonies in Africa. From the bustling streets of Lagos to the serene villages of the Niger Delta, Nigerian weddings are marked by elaborate ceremonies, colorful attire, and lively music and dance. They are not just events but are seen as significant milestones in the lives of the couple and their families, symbolizing love, unity, and commitment.
But did you know Nigerian weddings have several traditions and customs that couples, their families, and guests practice to ensure a successful ceremony and also serve as signs of a peaceful marriage? In this article, JanaTribe will delve into the rich tapestry of Nigerian wedding traditions and rituals, exploring the intricate customs that make these ceremonies truly unique.
What is a wedding in Nigeria like?
A wedding in Nigeria is a grand and joyous affair, often celebrated with elaborate ceremonies and colorful festivities. It is a significant event that brings together family, friends, and community members to witness and celebrate the union of two individuals. Nigerian weddings are characterized by rich cultural traditions, vibrant attire, lively music and dance, and sumptuous feasting.
Traditional Nigerian weddings vary in customs and practices depending on the ethnic group and religious beliefs of the couple. However, some common elements are prevalent across many Nigerian weddings. These include the payment of the bride price (dowry), traditional marriage rites, religious ceremonies, and lavish receptions.
The wedding festivities typically begin with traditional pre-wedding ceremonies, such as the introduction ceremony (wine carrying), where the groom’s family formally seeks the consent of the bride’s family for the marriage. This is followed by the engagement ceremony, where gifts are exchanged between the two families as a sign of goodwill and commitment.
On the wedding day, the bride and groom are adorned in elaborate traditional attire that reflects their cultural heritage. The ceremony itself may be conducted under religious customs, such as Christian, Muslim, or traditional African rites. Regardless of the religious affiliation, weddings in Nigeria are often accompanied by prayers, blessings, and the exchange of vows.
After the ceremony, guests are treated to a lavish reception, complete with music, dancing, and feasting. Traditional Nigerian dishes such as jollof rice, pounded yam, and assorted meats are served, along with an array of desserts and drinks. The reception is a time for celebration and merriment, with guests showering the newlyweds with gifts, blessings, and well wishes for their future together.
Types of marriages in Nigeria
In Nigeria, there are several types of marriages recognized by law and tradition. These include:
- Traditional/Customary Marriages: These marriages are conducted according to the customs and traditions of various ethnic groups in Nigeria. They involve traditional rites and ceremonies, such as the payment of bride price and the performance of cultural rituals.
- Civil Marriages: Civil marriages are conducted and recognized by the government through the registry office. They are usually officiated by a marriage registrar and require the couple to obtain a marriage certificate.
- Religious Marriages: Religious marriages are conducted according to the rites and practices of various religious denominations, such as Christianity, Islam, and traditional African religions. These marriages are officiated by religious leaders, such as priests, pastors, imams, or traditional chiefs.
- Court Marriages: Court marriages are similar to civil marriages and are conducted in a court of law by a judge or magistrate. They require the couple to obtain a marriage license and are legally recognized by the government.
- Islamic Marriages: Islamic marriages, also known as Nikah, are conducted according to Islamic law (Sharia) and are officiated by an Islamic cleric. They involve the exchange of vows and the signing of a marriage contract (nikahnama) by the couple and witnesses.
These are the main types of marriages in Nigeria, each with its own set of legal and cultural requirements. Couples may choose the type of marriage that best aligns with their beliefs, traditions, and legal preferences.
Traditional Wedding Ceremony in Nigeria
Proposal
There is a ritual for making proposals before the major event even happens. Usually, the proposal begins with an introduction. This is the custom for heterosexual couples, where the groom visits the bride’s family home with a few family members to introduce himself and state his intentions. But this is not the first time the groom and his family are getting together because the bride’s family normally knows the groom and/or his family. Following this introduction (which could take a day or several meetings), the bride’s family presents the groom and his family with a list of requirements (which differ depending on the Nigerian tribe), which, if met, will indicate that the groom is sincere about proceeding with the marriage proposal.
Bride Price
The bride price, also called the dowry (known by the Yorubas as eru iyawo and as rubu by the Hausa), is a universal requirement across most Nigerian tribes for men to offer an agreed-upon set of items to the bride’s family before the marriage may take place. Historically, it is a sign of respect for the bride’s parents and her side of the family. It is a symbolic gesture to prove that the man is financially capable of taking care of the bride and their new family.
“This is to compensate the bride’s family for the loss of income or labor he is extracting from the family by marrying her and taking her away,” says Feyisola Ogunfemi, a Nigerian wedding planner and owner of Statuesque Events. “This can sometimes be quite exorbitant and the price increases if the woman has a university degree. The groom’s family brings the requested items and once it’s determined that they’ve met the requirements, the event can proceed.”
What is included in the dowry lists in Nigeria? The bride’s price is usually a combination of cash and gifts. Some of the items demanded by the bride’s family include; bag(s) of sugar, bag(s) of rice, alligator pepper, balls of bitter kola, a bag of salt, and kola nuts. Non-edible items will also include a brand new much prized Bible and may also include expensive materials like lace, several pairs of shoes, household goods, clothes, a wristwatch, a gold engagement ring, a head tie, and sometimes animals/livestock. Everything is so well presented and displayed for everyone to see.
“Bride prices or dowry are usually something material—think money, home items, food items or physical property that is given to the family of the bride from the groom’s family, as a symbol of appreciation in recognizing the role the bride’s family played in raising her,” says Bisola Esiemokhai, an Atlanta-based wedding expert and owner of Event Design by BE. “The bride’s family typically comes together to create the list. Lastly, the dowry is often seen as the ‘I do’ answer by the groom, to the question of whether he is ready to marry the bride.”
Esiemokhai emphasizes that it’s important to understand that “the concept of bride price is oftentimes viewed (by other cultures) in a negative light as somehow implying ‘ownership’ of the bride. This couldn’t be further from the truth. As previously stated, the bride price is symbolic of the groom’s intention of marrying the bride as well as showing love and appreciation to the bride’s family for the hand they played in raising the woman he will get to call his wife. It’s an acknowledgment of the sacrifices her parents and family members may have made throughout their lives, the investment they made in her education, etc. This is why the bride price is not only items for the parents but for specific family members as well.“
Yoruba Weddings
Traditional Yoruba weddings are large and lively with anywhere between 200 to 1,000 guests in attendance. These ceremonies are hosted by two MCs, known as alagas, who are usually older women from each side of the family. The alagas are boisterous, charismatic characters that add humor to the day. They are accompanied by a talking drummer for the entirety of the event, who pumps in additional vigor and excitement with each beat.
Additionally, Yorubas have a greeting custom known as Ìdobálè whereby males prostrate, placing their full bodies on the ground as a sign of respect. The groom and his groomsmen must prostrate before the bride’s family and the chest must touch the ground completely for the greeting to be complete. Ogunfemi, who is Yoruba herself, notes that “once the men prostrate on the ground, the bride’s family asks a few questions, the groom is seated, and then the bride enters with her ladies who are all wearing matching aso-ebi (traditional attire). After this, she places a hat on the groom’s head and then he carries her. This is known as Igbeyawo. He then places a ring on her finger and they are pronounced married.”
“Yoruba weddings, the bride is asked to pick out the most important item within the gifts that the groom’s family provided to the bride’s family and she must always select either the Bible, Quran or a symbol of her faith which is where her ring is,” notes Esiemokhai. She goes on to explain that another difference in Yoruba weddings is that “prostrating is usually done by Yoruba grooms while Igbo grooms typically kneel.”
Igbo Weddings
When an Igbo man wishes to marry a woman, he goes with his father and other male relatives to knock on the bride’s family’s door in a process called Ikuaka or “knocking.” It is normally the man’s father (or uncle, elder brother, or older living male relative) who announces his intentions to marry the woman. Within this tradition, the men also come bearing gifts such as kola nuts and alcoholic beverages, which Nigerians sometimes refer to as “hot drinks.”
The second stage of an Igbo wedding is Ime Ego, the payment of the dowry or bride price, which is then followed by the Igba Nkwu or “wine carrying”. At the Igba Nkwu, the bride must search for her future husband, who is hiding among a crowd of men. She will dance joyfully while scanning the room for her fiancé and must correctly identify him by offering him a cup of wine, which he must then drink to denote he is indeed her groom. The couple is then declared married, there’s another outfit change, and jubilant dancing erupts.
Hausa Weddings
Matrimony among the Hausa people begins with the payment of the bride price, which is called Kayan Zander. A lower bride price is incidentally said to result in greater blessings for the couple, and once this has been paid to the bride’s family, the wedding or Fatihah can take place. During the Fatihah (the actual wedding day), representatives from both families exchange vows before the religious priest and not the couple themselves.
Event number three, Wuni, is ladies-only. Here, the bride enjoys time with her female friends, adorning their hands with henna. During Kamun Amariya, the groom’s relatives then playfully negotiate with the ladies for the “release” of the bride for the reception. Finally, the bride is escorted to her matrimonial home in a process called Kai Amariya.
Seniority Matters
According to Nigerian wedding customs, in some tribes, the youngest sibling in the family is not permitted to marry before the eldest unless the latter wants to live a bachelor life forever.
Seniority is the guiding principle for all marriages in Igbo families. Younger siblings must wait until their older siblings are married before marrying their true love, or they can decide to go forward without their family’s consent.
If a woman needs to wait for her older sister to get married, a prospective husband might decide to let go instead of waiting.
The Fulani Sharo Tradition
Among the Fulani people in northern Nigeria, there’s a pre-wedding ceremony where the groom is publicly whipped. Per Vanguard NG, this is seen as a test of his courage and resilience before taking on the responsibility of marriage. While it may seem harsh, the whipping is usually symbolic and not meant to inflict serious pain.
The No-Smiling Bride
From the moment she walks out, the Ijaw bride is expected not to smile until she has been sprayed with plenty of money by her husband. This is a playful tradition that is meant to bring good luck and prosperity to the couple.
The Lift Test
While it is by no means a significant aspect of Yoruba marriage custom, a groom is expected to be able to carry his new bride to demonstrate his strength and ability to care for her throughout their marriage, much like the Western custom of carrying a woman over a threshold.
Kola Nut Ceremony
Consuming Kola nuts, which have a similar appearance to chestnuts, is a common practice at Nigerian wedding ceremonies.
The breaking of the kola nut—the bitter fruit of the kola tree—signifies the start of any traditional event for many tribes and is a way for elders to welcome guests. The nuts must first be blessed before they are broken, and the more parts the kola nut breaks into, the more prosperity the hosts and visitors will receive.
“The Kola nut is a product of a tree that is native to West Africa,” says Esiemokhai. “It is presented and shared by all family members at significant ceremonies including wedding introductions and weddings ceremonies as a symbol of hospitality, friendship, love and respect. It has a bitter aftertaste so it’s definitely not for the faint of heart.“
Prostration for Respect
Another tradition that serves as a sign of respect to elders at Nigerian weddings is the practice of prostration.
No matter how expensive or elegant your wedding outfit is, or how filthy the ground is, if you are a friend of the groom (mostly the groom and his groomsmen) at a traditional Yoruba wedding, you will be required to lie prostrate (think planking but on solid ground) in front of the bride’s parents as a show of respect.
The groom is expected to perform this act of homage four times before the conclusion of the ceremony.
“Prostrating in Nigeria is often done during the traditional wedding, to show respect and reverence to older family members, normally to the bride’s family,” explains Esiemokhai. “Usually, the groom and his (mostly, if not all) male entourage are the ones who pull this off at a time usually specified by the master of ceremonies (or MC) for Igbo weddings and Alaga Iduro and Alaga Ijoko for Yoruba weddings. While prostrating on the floor, the bride’s family would then pray for the success of the newly married couple.”
Traditional Nigerian Wedding Attire
Wedding attire is a big part of any wedding, whether it’s a cultural wedding or not, and this is especially true of Nigerian weddings.
Beyond differences in Nigerian wedding ceremony traditions, there is also a big difference in the attire for Igbo, Hausa, and Yoruba traditional weddings. Without being told, most people can identify the ethnic background of the bride, groom, or family simply by their choice of attire.
Igbo grooms normally wear a red cap and a specific fabric called Isiagu, which depicts a lion’s head on it. The color of the hat and lion head is a symbol of Igbo culture. Traditional Igbo wedding attire also includes a lace blouse, a bright kaftan-like skirt, matching or contrasting coral beads, and a head tie.
With Yoruba traditional wedding attire, grooms normally wear an agbada, which is a four-piece outfit (including a matching hat).
Meanwhile, traditional Hausa wedding grooms often don a Hausa cap, or woven hat, known as a full, as part of their distinct outfits.
While some brides opt to wear a white wedding dress for their religious ceremony, couples are increasingly returning to their cultural roots and wearing stunning, bright outfits in their tribal colors, the colors of their soon-to-be spouse, or creating a mixture of the two.
When brides wear their traditional attire, their makeup and accessories are equally as bright and bold. Couples who attempt a more Western-style wedding ceremony will often ditch the white wedding gown after the ceremony and get glammed up in their traditional dress for the reception.
Aso-Ebi Wedding Attire
Aso-Ebi is a popular traditional wedding attire in Nigeria. The word is Yoruba, but Igbo and Hausa people use the same term as well since it’s a popular phrase.
Aso-ebi means “the family clothes” and this is one of the most striking aspects of Nigerian weddings. The couple decides on a uniform color scheme that each side of the family will follow.
It’s a way to differentiate the bride’s family from the groom’s based on the fabrics and colors they’re wearing. It also visually sets them apart from their friends and well-wishers who come to celebrate with the couple and their respective families. It’s also common to see the couple’s friends wearing their separate aso-ebi.
The entourage for the groom and bride has their aso-ebi outfits as well. The bride’s entourage is normally called ‘aso ebi girls’ and are the women who help her dance into the wedding.
Aso-ebi was primarily an element of Yoruba weddings but this elaborate, harmonious attire has since spread to other Nigerian tribes and African countries.
Auto-Gele Wedding Attire
As part of their aso-ebi wedding attire, which includes a colorful kaftan-like wedding dress, Nigerian brides will generally also don gele, which is a Nigerian headpiece or head tie made of fabric that matches the wedding dress.
Because of the complex nature of the gele head tie wedding attire, Esiemokhai explains that something people may not be aware of if “the invention and popularity of the auto-gele.” She explains that the gele headpiece is worn by many women attending the wedding, however, “it can take 10-20 minutes per person to create (depending on the design selected) by a ‘gele woman’ which is a person that has the skill to create beautiful and unique designs with the fabric given. When I have couples who want to change into traditional attire during their American reception and/or brides who have large entourages who will dance in with them, having each woman get their gele tied can take a while; even with multiple gele women on hand.”
The time it takes to tie a gele has “given rise to ready-made geles within the last few years that only take seconds to put on. The auto-gele is already sewn in a design and all you have to do is place it on your head, collapse the excess material in the back and align the velcro strips provided. I absolutely love it. This saves so much time and allows everyone to have a beautiful gele but in a fraction of the time. There are many different designs, embellishments, and colors out there now so everyone won’t look the same. Time is so precious on the wedding day that we don’t want to spend it waiting for everyone to get their gele tied. I still do hire gele women specifically for the bride or moms so they can have a unique or more over-the-top gele design but that does not take nearly as much time.”
Nigerian Wedding Receptions
Large Guest List
Typically, lots of people will be invited to a Nigerian wedding ceremony and reception. Beyond just the couple’s immediate family and wedding party members like bridesmaids and groomsmen, the guest list will include extended family members. According to Esiemokhai, “In Nigeria, weddings are often viewed as a communal effort/ event in which everyone should come together to celebrate what is viewed as one of the most important accomplishments—marriage. This means that oftentimes, both the bride and groom’s families adopt an open invite or ‘show up and you’re welcomed’ mindset driven primarily by a need to celebrate such a momentous occasion with friends, family and acquaintances. This nuance is still the case for Nigerian weddings taking place in the United States. The large guest list is also brought on by parents who have the mindset of inviting everyone because it can get very political in who you invite and exclude. I’ve also noticed that if parents are a part of large churches or local Nigerian organizations they feel obligated to invite everyone which also leads to the large guest list.”
Double Ceremonies
Another modern or borrowed practice common with weddings in Nigeria is the double celebration or ceremonies. Here, it depends; while others would go for a single-day double ceremony, some also opt to host their ceremonies days and sometimes weeks apart.
Choosing either way, Nigerian couples may host both a cultural Nigerian wedding ceremony and a Western or American wedding ceremony.
“Couples will have two-day weddings or one-day weddings with two different ceremonies because the traditional wedding is where the couple gets married culturally and focuses on honoring their culture, lineage and traditions,” says Esiemokhai. “The parents and families have more say and input on this day. In America, the traditional wedding has no legal backing so the couple would still not be considered legally married after this day but they are married in the eyes of their parents and family members. The white wedding, which is oftentimes but not always, held after the traditional wedding, is where the couple has more say on what they want and are legally married by a pastor.”
Esiemokhai goes on to explain that “over the last 2-3 years, I’ve seen the rise in couples wanting to have their traditional Nigerian wedding and their American ‘white’ wedding on the same day. This year alone, I’m executing five of them. It’s possible but with very strict logistics that only a wedding planner should take on. The order of the day will involve the traditional wedding happening in the morning, usually with a start time between 8 am or 10 am and a strict 2-hour timeframe for the traditional wedding to play out. Then about a 3-5 hour transition until the American ceremony happens. Hair, changing, photo and video take place during this transition time before the American ceremony. And then the cocktail hour and reception follow afterward. There is a lot to consider with this format from a logistical, budget and guest perspective but it is possible and many couples are opting to do it all in one day.”
Wedding Cake
During a cultural Nigerian wedding ceremony, the bride and groom cut a cake! This tradition is different from what we’re used to seeing at American weddings when the cake is typically cut during the reception. The cake is cut during the Nigerian ceremony to symbolize rice and sweet happiness.
Money Spray
What is a Nigerian wedding without throwing money? Money spraying, similar to the money dance seen at many Filipino weddings and nuptials throughout much of Latin America, is the highlight of a Nigerian wedding reception and involves guests spraying the couple with cash as a way to shower them with blessings.
During this portion, there’s usually a live band and a DJ playing afrobeat, hip-hop, traditional, and contemporary music while the couple dances together for as long as possible. Couples typically receive a lot of cash with this tradition, as they generally receive more money the longer they dance.
Esiemokhai explains that “dancing during Nigerian weddings is oftentimes the highlight of the event itself. Usually, this is kicked off by the parents and close family members at the start of the traditional Nigerian ceremony and then later when the bride and groom make an appearance with their individual entourages and then together as husband and wife once they are officially traditionally married.”
Esiemokhai goes on to note that “money spraying is something done to show love to the newly married couple and to wish them wealth, prosperity and abundance. Oftentimes, guests will forgo wedding gifts and consider spraying their contribution to the couple. Usually, family members will nominate money pickers (normally kids or teenagers) whose role is to ensure that all the money sprayed throughout the night is picked up periodically off of the floor and provided to a specific family member who is in charge of all the money received. This person is also in charge of changing large bills for guests ($20, $10, etc) who want to spray the couple throughout the night. I always have a separate ‘change table’ incorporated in my floor layouts so the individual assigned to this role can have a designated place to sit near the dance floor and enough room to count and be organized. Having this table is also good because all guests know where to find them. At larger weddings, it isn’t at all surprising that money sprayed on the couple can exceed $5,000 in some cases.”
Party Food
Nigerian wedding etiquette dictates that no guest may leave hungry. Generous helpings of party staples, like jollof rice—which is so synonymous with weddings that it’s sometimes called “party rice” or “wedding rice”—are almost always served. Jollof is a celebrated Nigerian dish, and its provenance is hotly contested—there is a long-standing rivalry with neighboring Ghana regarding who does it better.
“For the cocktail hour or appetizers, we typically serve what we call ‘small chops’—things like meat pie, sausage rolls, samosas, puff puff, chin chin, and spicy meat skewers called suya”, explains Jewel Odeyemi, the founder of Touch of Jewel Events and Designs, an event and wedding planning company based in Dallas, Texas. Additionally, it’s common to have both a buffet and plated service with an array of options. Particularly at traditional weddings, the main menu will consist of “swallow” (foods that you don’t chew but can swallow), like fufu, which is then paired with a thick and spicy soup.
Wedding Favors
Throughout the entire ceremony, the couples receive gifts from their loved ones. These gifts can range from extravagant, luxurious, and affordable items. Mostly, it is in the form of cash, which helps the bride and groom, who had spent enough for their special day, to gain their financial strength in their new journey of union.
While guests give wedding gifts or presents to the couple, in return, the bride and groom also give their friends who graced their ceremony with what are called favors or souvenirs. This is significant in Nigerian weddings because this is the time for the newlyweds to show appreciation and gratitude to their guests.
The majority of Nigerian couples give their guests branded party goodies with their wedding date and photo on them. These include power banks, clocks, fans, and even kitchenware. These presents are a wonderful way to ensure that guests leave with wonderful memories and maybe a monogrammed clock (or two).
